chameleon

I've been on a ride for the past four months.  No, almost six.

Wow.  I moved to the East Coast six months ago....

In a lot of ways I feel a part of two worlds: and Old World and a New.  It's not my intention to get stuck on which is which.  I feel a clash of interests, values, and patterns of living that present a very stark shift.  I've spent six months here in an effort to find my place in the pattern.  I believe in standards that are different.  I hold a different set of interests--they're certainly ranked differently.  And yet I find, sometimes, that my shifts are a cause of concern and conflict.

Concern and conflict were never my strongest suits.

I feel, today, like I'm inconsistent.  I'm asking questions about what the core principles behind the values and standards are because I don't want to follow either one blindly.  "Tradition" is rarely an answer that I hold to well.  "Culture" is an answer that frustrates my sense of freedom.

I guess that I just keep looking for the answer, right?

I'm fasting today to know about some of the conflicting standards/expectations.  I want to find the commandments so that I may live the law.

This is on of the few times since my returning from my mission... Let's just say that I usually fast for the same things every month. (It seems like I have the same issue every month...)

It's time for that to change.  But the other questions remain.

...at least being like a chameleon isn't always being spineless, it can have some positive elements.